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"I'll take the chair, Abe, thanks."I hang up the coat and haul over one of those brown metal folding things. Best I have. She shakes it out and sits down. She looks up at me, the book in her lap, marking her place with her finger. Fucking poison, that book, I don't know why anybody reads it. I read it two years ago, right after I got divorced. Maybe people read it when they feel miserable already and want to feel worse."As a matter of fact, Abe, I'm not, really," she says. No smile. "How'd you know?" You always smile a lot," I say, "but not today." Well, I thank you for asking." She opens the book where her finger was and starts to read. I figure that means, "Go away." But I don't.Now I just dive in. I've got no sense at all."What's the matter?" I say. "It can't be that bad."She looks up, but she keeps her finger in the book."You really want to know?" Yeah, I do," I say. I mean it. It's a tragedy when a woman like her looks like this."Lots of things, I guess," she says. "Some of them. She was introduced to me as Vikki Morris, and we were told to basicallyshare our life stories with each other.So for the next hour or so, we traded stories back and forth, although Ithink the small amount of alcohol we were given helped ...Then a staffer came in, and said, "Okay, that will do for now. I thinkthe two of you are ready for phase two."I shrugged, and got up to follow her, with Vikki behind me.The staffer took us into a room with two chairs that reminded me ofdentist chairs, except there were more straps on them."What's this?" I asked, and Vikki said, "Yeah, what's the deal?" This is phase two. By the time you both leave this room, you'll both behetrosexual."I was a little scared, but I was desperate, so I climbed into one of thechairs, and they strapped me in.Vikki shrugged, and did the same."The straps are just so you don't move at the wrong moment and hurtyourself. It shouldn't take long, and it wont hurt ...much," the staffersaid.Then they pulled the switch, and my.
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